Taking Turns
by tocks
Summary: Buffy reflects on the ultimate sacrifice that was made in her honor, and decides she's going to do something in return. No matter what the others say.
1. Her Turn

Title: Taking Turns  
  
Author: Me of course =D  
  
Setting: Later in the day after the events of 'Chosen.' A hotel room in downtown Los Angeles. Written the day after the finale for my friend and fellow Buffy fanatic =)  
  
Summary and Spoilers: Anything up to, and including, S7 and its finale. Buffy reflects on the ultimate sacrifice that was made in her honor.  
  
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine! If they were, Buffy would have made sure her vampire knew she loved him before his death. The basic disclaimers apply.  
  
Thanks To: My 'beta' reader and loyal Buffy friend, Michelle, who was thrown into a depression after the show ended and I was forced to give her a happier ending. All Spuffys out there =) Joss and the cast/crew of BtVS for all the years of surprise and tears! Wow. I just rhymed.  
  
Written: Thursday, May 22nd 2003, half during Global class and the rest at home. I finally got off mah lazy bum and decided to go public with it. My first fic. Ha. Bow down and enjoy!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It hadn't even fully hit her yet. None of it had actually sunk in. It would take some time for the intensity and reality of the situation to make sense. The human brain did not allow it. Logic defied it. And only time would add any significance to all of this.  
  
Tomorrow, it would all be okay. Life would go on. One way or another, the world would find a way to keep turning. The sun would shine again. The events of the past few hours would be locked away in her memories. And she would be fine. They all would.  
  
Who was she kidding?  
  
Her life would never be the same, for he was gone. Her world would be frozen in place, for he had died not only for her, but for everyone. Time would be an eternity for her, because his life was taken, so that others would not be.  
  
And she missed him. Missed him so much it hurt.  
  
Sure, SunnyDale had vanished forever. And yes, her home was destroyed. All her possessions were no more. Pictures. Antiques. Memories. Irreplaceable objects. They were gone but not forgotten. They would always be kept dear, yet could easily be replaced. A new day would come, and all this would be in the past.  
  
So why was he so darn special? Why couldn't she close her eyes for a split second, just to rest her worn vision, and not see his face in her head? His intense deep blue eyes that stared right into your heart. His silvery blonde hair which dared anyone to challenge his identity. His dangerously high cheekbones which characterized one of his most noted traits. His courage. His loyalty. His love. It would all flash before her in a manner of seconds, and her eyes would shoot open in fear of losing herself in her thoughts.  
  
Everything else could be put behind her. Everything, but him. Why? Only because he didn't deserve to go. He wasn't suppose to be taken. He was never the one who left. He would not allow himself to go away without returning. And they were meant to be together after it all ended. She had finally been ready to be with him once it was over. And that gave her the courage to go through with the whole thing. The mere thought that they would walk away together at the end of the day.  
  
So what had gone wrong? What had twisted fate so terribly and made this happen?  
  
Buffy closed her eyes for a moment; a soft, southern California breeze sweeping back her hair as she inhaled the night. She could almost feel Spike's strong yet gentle hand caressing her check; his tender and soft lips planting a firm, loving kiss on her forehead. He had sacrificed himself so that her wish to be a normal person could be fulfilled. But suddenly, she would rather have him.  
  
The Slayer? The Chosen One? She was no more. She was just Buffy. An ordinary young woman who could do what she desired. Who could go where she pleased. Who could have who she wanted.  
  
So why wasn't she happy?  
  
It was simple. So simple she wished it would have some twist behind it. Any small bit of doubt or confusion that would leave her with a moment of peace.  
  
But no. She knew exactly what was wrong with this outcome. She knew why it felt so wrong. She knew why she couldn't think of tomorrow and smile.  
  
Because it wouldn't be the same. Not without her vampire. The vampire who had stuck by her side when everyone else had left her life. The vampire who had endured pain and torture for the sake of keeping her family safe. The vampire who had cared for her friends when she wasn't around. The vampire who had changed his whole being just for her.  
  
The vampire, who loved her.  
  
Buffy could practically feel him, standing beside her in the small room of the LA Motel the small portion of the Scooby Gang that were not in the hospital had settled in for the night. She could picture his gaze fixated on her, sending chills up and down her spine and making the hair along her neck stand on end. His head tilted ever so lightly to the side, giving him an appearance powerful enough to melt the heaviest, darkest heart. His jaw working as all the muscles in his body flexed, a move that got her heart racing and her blood running.  
  
And of course, she just had to look over her shoulder, in hopes that her senses hadn't lied and that Spike was indeed by her side, watching over her. Just for a second, believing that it had all been but a dream and she was still in her house basement, wrapping in his strong, protective arms. But alas, she was disappointed again, for the lonely motel room behind her was empty as ever. The morning's events came rushing back and she felt her eyesight blur with tears.  
  
God, she missed him so badly.  
  
And this was just the beginning of her long life without him. That thought alone made her weak in the knees, and she pulled back from the balcony and into the cheap, cream colored room. Pulling back the curtains, she stood still for a moment to try and gather herself. She could not let the barriers crumble, for if she broke down, she would not have it in her to stop. During the never-ending bus ride into town, while the gang was tending to the wounded, whispering words of gratitude for living to each other, and discussing the plans that the future held for them, she had been cuddled in the back crying. And she had been alone. For it was then that the meaning of Spike's sacrifice had gone through her head, and she had realized that she was doomed to never build upon her feelings for the blonde vampire. She had told him she loved him, but in the heat of the moment, and the will to get her to safety, he had repelled the statement and told her to leave. If she had known that to be their last moment together, she would have fought back and driven the fact into his head.  
  
She loved him. A love that had taken a long time to develop and blossom. A love that she had admitted when it was too late.  
  
Whenever she had felt lost and confused, he was always there to shed light upon the situation and make her feel like she was important. That was then, this was now. And he was gone.  
  
Buffy's thoughts raced, and she could not hold it in any longer. Making the short two feet walk to the bed, she collapsed on the velvet blanket that covered the mattress and let the tears spill freely. And as she cried, the realization slowly keened on her. This was what Spike had gone through when she had been taken away from the world nearly two years ago. When she too had sacrificed her life so that the world could go on with its. When she had died in the name of love. The pain and loneliness that he must have felt, she never understood until this evening, when the connection was clear.  
  
"I do remember what I said. The promise."  
  
After what seemed like hours of dry sobs, the sudden sound of his voice within her head startled her. Lifting her tired body from the bed, her tear- stained eyes wandered around the room in the desperate hope that he was actually there, although she knew well enough that he wasn't.  
  
"I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but. After that. Every night after that."  
  
The words he had spoken on her first night back, when she had felt out of place, tired and betrayed. When her family and friends had looked at her like an object that they had misplaced and just found. When she was expected to go about her daily life as if everything was normal, but the pain she'd felt inside was eating her up. When Spike was the only one that actually understood, and for the first time had she seen the declaration of total love and devotion written all over his face. The words of assurance he had given her then, played freely in her mind now; and she found the strength to rise to her feet and wipe away the tears that muffled her vision.  
  
"I'd see it all again... do something different. Faster or more clever. Dozens of times, lots of different ways. "  
  
Buffy couldn't help the slightest smile dance along her lips as she pulled back the blanket from the bed and slowly sank under the soft silken covers, resting her head on the pillow. She was going to go on living, just for Spike, as he had done, just for her. Somehow, she would make it. And this would not have to be the end. But a new beginning. A new quest.  
  
Her eyes closed as a low, happy sigh was emitted from within her. Once again, Spike had not let her down. He was right there, in her heart and soul, lighting her way.  
  
"Every night I saved you."  
  
Now, it was her turn. 


	2. Morning After

A/N: Alright. I gave in. Due to a couple of simple reviews on my supposed 'one-shot' finale dedication fic, I have been inspired to write more. I don't know what this is going to turn into, nor do I have any promises on weather I will actually find it in my lazy mind to fully finish my plot, but an idea dawned on me and I'm willing to go with it. Please drop me a line if you like it, and urge me to keep it up. After all, I think I owe us a happier ending =)  
  
~~~~~~  
  
A thin streak of sunlight fought its way through the thick curtains of the cream-tinted hotel room, dancing dully upon a crumbled feminine figure slumped under the covers of a lone twin bed.  
  
With a muffled groan of masked pleasure, Buffy Summers rolled over, greedily clinging to the bed sheets as a small smile lined her lips, the aftermath of a blissful subconscious world were things were as one would have wanted.  
  
"Mmmm."  
  
A wary yawn broke the still silence, as the slayer allowed her eyes to slip open, carelessly taking in the lifeless room; from the shimmering light that broke through the heavily guarded windows, informing her that it was well into the afternoon, to the cream colored walls that reeked of cheap wallpaper, lurking up to the off-white ceiling and finally falling on the bed she lay upon.  
  
Not for the first time in the past 24 hours, Buffy's heart skipped a beat as her mind wandered back through the most recent day's events, and once more, she bid all the painful memories that eased themselves back into her head, to have been one horrid dream.  
  
But then, after a mere few moments of hope and reassurance, a throbbing headache and more then a few sore body parts brought Buffy back to reality. Her worst nightmare had indeed come to play the day before, and she was still all alone to face it.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
She jumped at the sounding of her name as a strong knock jerked her from another round of mindless thoughts, and she scooted up in the bed, still not fully awake although well aware of the pain spreading through her.  
  
"Buffy? Are you up?"  
  
A familiar British accented male voice, deep and authoritative, called out from behind the thin wooden door of her room. It didn't take much to recognize the edge of worry in the caller's tone.  
  
"Yea, coming."  
  
The reply flowed freely through the awkward silence that followed the question, and the knocking stopped almost instantly. Buffy didn't bother rising from the bed just yet; her eyes murky and hollow as she sat still and inhaled the thick air.  
  
"Buffy? Are you alright?"  
  
And once again her wandering thoughts were interrupted. She sighed and pushed herself off the bed with a wince, knowing all to well that this was one of those things that would not go away if merely ignored.  
  
Stepping over a batch of dirty clothes -bloodied and torn from the previous day's battles, well beyond the line of repair- which she'd not bothered to put away, Buffy aimlessly made her way to the poorly painted door and turned the lock, surprisingly startling herself as it clicked over dramatically, and swung the door open to reveal a middle-aged man with a genuine look of concern and love in his eyes.  
  
"I'm fine, Giles. I must have overslept."  
  
The reply came out on instinct. She was far from 'fine.' They both knew it.  
  
"What time is it? Shouldn't you be in the hospital?"  
  
Buffy urged on, ignoring the look of uncertainty towards her condition in the knowing eyes of her watcher; the closest person she had to a father.  
  
"It's well past 2 in the afternoon, Buffy. And no. I'm perfectly well. It takes more then a few scratches to slow me down."  
  
She managed a slight smile despite of her crappy mood. She expected as much. After withstanding Willow's darkened force last year, Buffy was beginning to wonder if anything could in fact stop Giles in his tracks. And, to god, she hoped she'd never have to find out.  
  
"Really now. What are you doing here? The others might need-"  
  
"Everyone's in the local hospital, in recovery, just a few blocks away, Buffy. And they're all worried about your weel-being. I came to check up on you for my personal relief as well as theirs."  
  
After getting no reaction, he went on.  
  
"That was quite a serious undertaking we went through, and you didn't even allow to be examined by a professional doctor. Yew rarely said much of anything when we arrived, and frankly, it's rather unhealthy for you to drift away in such a time. It tends to end badly."  
  
By this point, a traditional eye roll had taken toll, and Buffy leaned against the door frame bidding her elder to finish. A small flame of anger whirled up inside her, but she tried desperately to hold it in. How could she make him understand that her world was now thrown upside down? How could she even begin to explain to him what they all would refuse to see? Where would she even start?  
  
Once he had stopped to make sure she was keeping up with his rants, she looked up from her own daydreams and wasted no time to jump in and shush him before she'd blow.  
  
"Giles. When have I ever gone to a doctor? Another day or two and I'll be good as new. And last night, I- I didn't feel like talking. I was tired and... I just need some time to, you know, think? Alone."  
  
She falsely attempted a reassuring smile but was unable to hold his gaze for more then a second. Silence sank in and she sighed. It wasn't long before she felt her watcher's protective hand resting on her shoulder.  
  
"We lost a lot of people yesterday."  
  
Her eyes instantly closed and she held her breath in order to keep herself together. She knew what was coming, and the last thing she'd want was to fall apart right then and there.  
  
His voice was deep and compassionate, trying to be polite for he knew that his slayer's relationship with one such bleached vampire had grown immensely over the past few months. But despite his own gratitude and recognition for what Spike had done in order to save them all, Giles was far from approvingly any aspect of Buffy's feelings towards the late vampire, and he would under no account allow her to waste away any more of her life mourning for him.  
  
"I know it's hard. Buffy, but being with your family and friends, who all need you as much as you need them, it might be of help in. moving on past this."  
  
The last thing she wanted now was to be around her people. It would only make things more complicated. She didn't want company. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to move on.  
  
The watcher didn't know anything. None of them did.  
  
"I said, I'm fine, Giles."  
  
Buffy shot back with such force that even she was caught off guard by her urge to stop this conversation. The man recognized that daring hint in her voice, and knew when to back down. With a sigh, this time from him, the supportive hand left her shoulder and Buffy looked up apologetically, but found herself unable to speak.  
  
Again, a moment of silence passed, before Giles broke it.  
  
"Angel's here."  
  
That shouldn't have surprised her, seeing as her 'former' lover did live in LA, where she'd asked him to remain, but her eyes instantly flared with emotion.  
  
"You were planning on telling me this, when exactly?"  
  
Once more, her tone was stone cold, and Giles felt a chill run down his spine, but he held his stand.  
  
"That was the other reason I came. To get you. He's over at the hospital; came late yesterday looking for you. He stayed the night, knowing you'd need your rest, and hoping his services could be of any us to us."  
  
"How considerate." She muttered under her breath, but Giles caught on to it, but continued.  
  
"He wants to talk to you. But s'alright if you're not up to it. I'll tell him you were still sleeping or-"  
  
"No need. Let me just change and I'm coming." Buffy's mind had again wandered to the conversation with Angel the day before the big battle had gone down, and a gleam of a growing idea was present in her eyes.  
  
He was the one who'd brought her that amulet, the one that Spike wore to his death, and he was to try and dig up more information on it. There were some questions that she needed answered now. Maybe there would be a way to change things. Maybe, there would be something she could do and-  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
She looked up, not having moved from the door since she first opened it, and met a pair of determined eyes.  
  
"He's gone. You have to move on."  
  
With another flare of anger, she swallowed hard and grabbed the doorknob.  
  
"I'll be a minute."  
  
Her voice was cold and harsh, matching the glare in her eyes. The door slammed shut with just a little more force then needed, right in the watcher's face. It was a scene all too familiar.  
  
An eerie silence drifted down into the hotel hallway. Giles lifted his clenched fist to knock and try to give an apology, but he chose against it. He sighed once more and leaned back on the wall to wait her out.  
  
It was the least he could do now. 


	3. The Talk

A/N: And here we are with the third installment of Taking Turns =) Sorry it took so very long. Between camps and summer jobs, and most recently the start of school, I've hardly had time to write.  
  
I'm loving all yew folks who are dropping a note of encouragement. All the sappy compliments really keep me going, and so far it's looking good. Please continue R&R'ing. Being my first fic and all, it's really appreciated. I'll stop my blabbering now and get on with the story =D  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It was white. Too white. And it reeked of perfection. The walls were spotless; the floors, waxed and glossy. Along with the smell of disinfectants and medication, came the strong scent of pain, misery and death.  
  
A typical hospital. The thought raced through Buffy Summers' head as she paced the main hallway of the third floor recovery wing. She had been in a hospital quite a few times during her life; rarely for reasons pertaining to her own health (except that time when a bad case of the flu had thrown her into a sanitized prison).  
  
But each time, her stomach twisted and her heart skipped a beat.  
  
It was never a happy or joyous event. Hospitals were always bad news.  
  
Buffy slowed down and swallowed deeply before pushing open the waiting room doors and scanning the roomy space for the all too familiar face she had come here to see.  
  
And see him she did - sitting in a corner chair, well out of the sunlight's reach. And it seemed he was going to be stuck there for the next few hours, at least until the sun was low enough for him to retreat.  
  
She had to go through with this now, or never, and although the thought of bailing was tempting, she stepped forward.  
  
"Angel." The name came out bitter - harsher then she'd expected.  
  
His head shot up and he smiled warmly, wasting no time in bringing her into his arms. If he'd missed the tone of her greeting or chosen to ignore it was hard to decide.  
  
"I'm so glad you're okay."  
  
His hold on her tightened, but she did nothing to return in. She stood there, limp in his arms, and merely thought, "If only you knew."  
  
After a minute of embracing his true love, and noting her lack of response, Angel finally let go. Urging her into one of the metal waiting room chairs, he sat down across her and let the silence sink in.  
  
"What'd ya wanna talk about?" Buffy forced a smile, and failed to hold it for more then 5 seconds. Angel played with his hands and sighed.  
  
"I know this might not be a good time, with all you've been through and all, but."  
  
She blinked and waited.  
  
"What happened down there, Buffy? How'd you stop it. We've all been wondering, and frankly you were the last one out."  
  
And she blinked again, only to clear her eyes of the visual that instantly flooded them.  
  
So they were curious as to what went on those last few moments of Sunnydale's existence?  
  
Buffy would have rolled her eyes, had the situation not hit so close to home. So instead she settled for speaking the truth.  
  
"I did nothing. It wasn't me. I didn't save us. I certainly didn't stop it."  
  
Angel sighed. Giles had already warned him about this. Her watcher has asked him to have this talk with Buffy. For her own good.  
  
He had to get Buffy talking. He had to help her move on - start a new life. With him hopefully.  
  
"Don't say that. You had as much to do with this as anyone. If it weren't for you, we'd all be gone now."  
  
Buffy shook her head, desperately holding back a sob. She couldn't cry now. Now here. In front of him. In front of them all.  
  
"No. You wouldn't know. Yew weren't there."  
  
"Well, explain it to me." Angel pushed on, hoping she could take the bait.  
  
Her anger was slowly replacing her sadness. With a breath to steady her voice, she locked eyes with the man - the vampire - she once loved with all her heart. Now that special place was reserved for someone else.  
  
Someone she couldn't have anymore.  
  
"Spike's the one who saved us. And you all know it. You just won't accept it."  
  
Another time, another place, and Angel would have smiled. But it was Buffy sitting there, nearing a nervous break down. This was for her own good, he repeated in his mind.  
  
"No Buffy. *You* won't admit it. Yew won't accept the fact that he's gone now. But you're still here. As are your friends. And you have to move on."  
  
Funny. The exact words Giles had used on her about an hour ago. And since then she'd barely uttered a syllable to him.  
  
"Oh, what. You and Giles rehearse this speech together, did'ja? Well I won't hear it, Angel."  
  
She stood to leave but he was a second faster. His hands held her still.  
  
"Buffy. You can't do this to yourself. You have a normal life ahead of you now. It's what you've always wanted. Enjoy it."  
  
Her eyes were cold daggers.  
  
"It's what I wanted *then.* Things are different now."  
  
"Then let's talk about it." Was he always this stubborn?  
  
"It's none of your damn business, Angel." She shrugged out of his grasp and walked out of the waiting room.  
  
"You can't keep this up forever!" The doors swung open and Angel trailed after her.  
  
"For once in you life, Angel. Leave when I *want* you to leave." Buffy didn't bother stopping., knowing that the words would hurt.  
  
And they did. But it only made Angel more determined. "He's not coming back, Buff. He's gone for good this time. Accept it and move on!"  
  
The tears fell freely now that Angel had stopped pursuing her. She quickened her pace and ran straight into the bathroom, locking the door behind her and collapsing to the ground in a mass of sobs.  
  
Damn them all. How could they act as if it were nothing?  
  
Why couldn't they understand?  
  
There had to be a way to get him back. There had to be a chance he would return.  
  
Buffy would stop it nothing to be with him now.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The sun beamed down on the massive canyon. Dust flew into the air with every gust of wind. Heat waves danced into the cool air as the red rocks baked in nature's oven.  
  
A loose stone rumbled down the side of the giant hole, creating a miniature rock slide.  
  
The pebbles settled again. But something was different. Something didn't belong.  
  
A hand lay motionless, covered in dry blood and dirt, only now uncovered by the shift in the landscape.  
  
Everything seemed to freeze as the fingers of this hand twitched and violently grasped the hot sand and rock that held it down.  
  
A plate of metal reflected a direct beam of light. Once bold letters were starting to fade.  
  
"Welcome to Sunnydale"  
  
~~~~~~ 


	4. Good Bye

A/N: Woo. Chapter 4. Once again I'm greatly sorry about the wait! School has been a bitch =) I hope I didn't lose you folks!  
  
Thank ya'll greatly for the continued reviews! It means a lot. I should have really sat down and finished this fic during the summer, for now, with the new Angel season running, it doesn't have the same "effect" - if you will. But then again, not everyone has seen Angel yet, so I'll just be shutting up now.  
  
Anyways. One or two more chapters and I'll be wrapping it up. I love writing and I love the feedback, but it'll be a relief to finish. So sit back and enjoy! And remember to review now.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
She didn't know how long she'd been there, pressed against the public bathroom door, on the cold glossy floor, drowning in her sobs, alone.  
  
From what she gathered, she figured it was at least an hour now. More maybe. But then again, she wasn't a very good judge of time.  
  
It was all blended together lately. An endless cycle of pain.  
  
For a moment, she had almost forgotten where she was.  
  
Surely some annoyed visitor would have gotten security to pry open the door by now, wailing and ranting about the rude manner of people these days - how they'd be holding up the restrooms for hours upon hours.  
  
Then again; it was a large hospital. Plenty of bathrooms to go around for everyone. No wonder she had been left in peace.  
  
Not that those who were in the building in the first place had the bathroom on the top of their 'to do' lists.  
  
No one in the right mind would be fusing over the lavatories. Not here. Defiantly not now.  
  
Buffy snorted back a sad chuckle, wondering if, or more so hoping that, Angel had found a way to weasel out of here by now.  
  
Though it was safe to bet that he was out there. Just beyond the door. Waiting for her to come out and run back into his arms lovingly.  
  
Ha.  
  
Maybe back then, it could have happened. But now. Now it was different.  
  
With a heavy sigh, Buffy found the will to push herself upright into a stand. Quickly running a hand through her hair and splashing her face with some cold water, she headed to the door.  
  
The lock clicked open and the classic hospital smells rushed past her, followed by the sights.  
  
The hallways and nearby waiting rooms were mostly empty - a few hospital personal and visitors rushing here and there.  
  
All were too busy or too worried over what not to pay much attention to the broken women coming out of the ladies room after so long.  
  
The sun was lower in the sky now, indicating the late afternoon. It set a reddish orange glow to the otherwise colorless area.  
  
It was quiet - the distant rhythmic beat of heart rating machines and clocks ticking blending into the silence.  
  
Buffy sighed; her eyes sweeping high and low for any signs of Angel. Or the others.  
  
She swallowed, hard. She didn't think she would be able to face any of them now. The questions. The looks. The memories.  
  
All she wanted was to be alone.  
  
When she confirmed there was indeed no one around, Buffy wasn't sure whether she should have been totally relieved or somewhat upset.  
  
There was just no emotion left.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Well, she *almost* made it. The glass doors leading out into the busy Los Angelus streets - into freedom of this cursed place - were calling from a mere 5 feet off.  
  
But moments after stepping out of the elevator and taking three steps forward, a strong yet gentle hand dripped her shoulder.  
  
Buffy's mind and blood raced instinctively, and she had to remind herself there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.  
  
She forced a smile and turned around, expecting to face a cheery nurse or a lost visitor, but instead-  
  
"Dawn! My god."  
  
And like that the sisters were lost in an embrace. Unlike the one with Angel, Buffy was participating as well.  
  
"About time you came outta there."  
  
Buffy smiled grimly and pulled her sister back, stroking a lock of hair out of her hair as she took in her appearance.  
  
"Spying on me?"  
  
"Only a little."  
  
Dawn giggled, and Buffy smiled. Neither had their hearts in it.  
  
"How are ya, Dawnie."  
  
Full big sister role was now in effect.  
  
"Oh, peachy."  
  
There was that classic big sister look.  
  
"No. Really. I'm fine. Not a scratch on me."  
  
Another smile. "Dawn. I meant, really."  
  
Dawn looked away, her eyes landing on a pair of empty chairs by the wall.  
  
"Let's sit down. We're blocking the doors."  
  
The younger Summers smiled; her sister having almost read her mind. Nothing surprised her anymore. Why should it?  
  
"I'm fine, Buff. Really." She continued strongly once they were seated; but her voice held concern. "What about you?"  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"Oh, you know. Same old."  
  
And more silence, neither knowing how to bring up the subject that was on both their minds.  
  
"Did you talk with Angel?"  
  
Buffy would have rolled her eyes, but the will to do so was gone.  
  
"Define 'talk'?"  
  
Dawn smiled, looking up finally, meeting her sister's gaze. Both their eyes held wariness. Exhaustion. Sadness.  
  
"Dawn, I-"  
  
"He saved us, didn't he?" She cut Buffy off before a self-guilt lecture was lined out.  
  
Well. There went the direct approach. "Yes. He did." Both of them knew as much.  
  
"I miss him." Dawn tipped her head, not sure where to go from there.  
  
"Yea."  
  
There was nothing more to say.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The road was dusty. The sun was strong. The sky was endless.  
  
It was hot. Dry. Dead.  
  
Nothing but a mere desert really. One did not notice it before - with the streets and the houses and the stores.  
  
It looked just like any old town.  
  
But really. Really it was a load of nothing.  
  
Now that it all laid in a crater the size of a couple of football fields-  
  
It was nothing.  
  
And a lone being dragged himself up the walls of this nothing.  
  
Out of the hole he did not dig.  
  
Out, back to her.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
They had sat like that for some time. Half an hour had passed in comfortable silence before Buffy spoke out.  
  
"Dawn. I have to go away for a few hours."  
  
That got her to look up.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "There's something I need to do."  
  
Dawn nodded. "Alright. I'll be fine."  
  
When Buffy said nothing, she urged on.  
  
"Where you going?"  
  
Teenagers. Never happy with a simple answer.  
  
"To say 'good-bye.'"  
  
~~~~~~ 


End file.
